Well, its finally here. We made it through finals week, and have been rewarded with two and a half weeks of glorious freedom. So, what to do with all of this new found freedom? Blog, of course. But in addition to that, I have several activities planned out to make it more enjoyable.
1. Knit. Duh.
2. Write a little bit.
3. Maybe dabble in the arts, see whats what.
4. Carol. (Well, this wasn't my idea, but still.)
5. CHRISTMAS. Yeah, its here.
Before I really get going in this post, I just wanna say that all of a sudden, I can't operate and keep typing hear instead of here. Fuck me. I'll try and catch myself, but no guarantees I always find typos when I reread this shit because I'm too lazy to proofread. But heck, its a blog post, and like 1.32 of you actually reads this and cares. Anyway, I digress.
I guess lately I just haven't really been feeling the Christmas spirit. Maybe it was the weather, that had been nearly 60 degrees all month. It hardly felt like December at all. Perhaps, (and I think this is more than likely) its due to the fact that by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was already tired of Christmas thanks to overwhelming ads. I was honestly a little bit angry at the world leading up to Thanksgiving, and once the time came to actually start celebrating, I just couldn't do it. It could be thanks to my increasingly cynical outlook on life, but I just could not find the spirit like I used to when I was younger.
And apparently, nobody else in my family could either. In the early weeks of December, my mother was usually busy decorating, wrapping, shopping, and shipping, and playing Christmas music on the radio. But this year, she came down with some acute bronchitis and was bed ridden for a long time. She was understandably depressed with her lack of Christmas spirit, but thanks to this, she would only pester my brother and I to make up for her lack of spirit. Our Christmas tree sat bare in our living room for several days, and sat for a few more with only lights. We decorated only a few days ago, and even that somehow felt forced. Not wonderful or joyous. Later, my mother chastised my lack of effort, after putting none of her own into it, and insisted that I kept decorating after I had simply lost interest.
It was shaping up to be a dismal season. Dad had started his new job, Mom was sick, and Jack and I were drowning in a sea of school work and stress.
But on Tuesday night, I felt a rekindling of the old Christmas spirit. I felt the childlike wonder and joy that once filled me to the brim when I was a little girl, and for the first time all year, I was genuinely excited for Christmas. I was downtown, ice skating for the first time in my life. Below the festive clock tower, and surrounded by friends and sparkling lights, I was reminded of Christmas past, when it was the most wonderful time of the year.
I guess that this really got me thinking about growing up. This is one of the first years that I honestly felt like an adult when it comes to Christmas. I was not eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus, and the mere idea of decorating exhausted me. Christmas was just another thing to add to my already hectic schedule, and I was having trouble finding room to squeeze it in.
But while I was out stumbling on the ice, laughing with friends while the cold air nipped at my nose, I was reminded that really, I am still a kid. The world may be telling me otherwise, but deep down, I'm just a kid at heart. I need to enjoy myself while I still can, because one day, I really will be an adult, and I'll wish I was 16 again.
So those are my little ramblings on winter break, and I'm sure I'll have more once the new year arrives!
And I would also like to mention, that we didn't die today.
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